I'm looking forward to 2006. It's going to be a good year and there's so much to get through in the next 12 months that I don't think I'm going to have time to breath let alone think.
I registered another domain name this morning and I can't wait to start getting my portfolio site up and running. 12/28/2005 06:52:00 AM
I registered another domain name this morning and I can't wait to start getting my portfolio site up and running. 12/28/2005 06:52:00 AM
Thank You
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time
and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for
making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on
envelopes, cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to
seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because
of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet
stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or Fed Ex
since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my
free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214
angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
Special email program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
return the favour!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhoea will land on
your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician. 12/17/2005 08:01:00 PM
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time
and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for
making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on
envelopes, cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to
seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because
of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet
stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or Fed Ex
since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my
free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214
angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
Special email program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
return the favour!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhoea will land on
your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician. 12/17/2005 08:01:00 PM
Why is it that the person who brings the best out in you also brings out the psycho self-harming homicidal bitch as well?
12/09/2005 07:02:00 PM
Adam, I was trying to send you a message on ICQ but it was being screwy (yes it was the program and not the operator). I'll be down there between Xmas and New Years. Catch up sometime then?
12/09/2005 06:53:00 PM
one of my wisdom teeth is giving me hell...
12/04/2005 09:45:00 PM