I've had a few interesting conversations with people lately. My favourite revolves around my writing ability (or lack thereof it as I was trying to argue). It started with him asking me if I'd ever though of becoming a Writer. My reply was that I was lazy. It takes effort, and energy, and motivation to write from the beginning to the end. I'm too lazy. He rattled of something about how if he could write like I did when I'm "lazy" he'd be writing bestsellers everyday (a little overexaggeration possibly). Maybe he has a point? Here's the problem - I can have the ideas, and try to sketch them out on paper and maybe last a paragraph, a page or even complete the first chapter. I don't feel the need to continue though. In highschool I used to write half-finished stories all the time. A couple spring to mind automatically. My fondest memory is one of my first attempt at writing a fantasy story. I even titled it "Leila" (it was before I understood that whole Star Wars thing existed). It was a story of a girl (a princess evidently) who loses her memory when her father's guards murder attempt goes wrong. Now because she has no memory and she's so far from home, of course, she becomes a common. I know, highly original. Anyone who knows me now would laugh at that - a fantasy novel. Imagine! Here's the thing though, I managed to write at least four chapters of that god-damned story. So here I sit, salad salami roll in hand, contemplating where all that motivation went. How on earth did I lose that enthusiasm That enthusiasm that drove me to lock myself in my room on returning from school and scribble to my heart's conent until dinner was served, satisfied that i'd finished that page I'd had brewing inside me all day long. My introduction to the internet is partly to blame. I fell in love with the words others typed, rather than the ones I wrote myself. So my train of thought is leaving, and the lunch break's ticking away, and I have no idea where this was supposed to to. I guess I just wanted to let you know that i'm going to try and find that enthusiasm again. Written at 12:30 pm, during my lunch breaks. Typed later.
Other news, I probably won't be on all that much this week. My brother has a uni assignment due and it's freaking him out. 9/30/2002 10:18:00 PM
Other news, I probably won't be on all that much this week. My brother has a uni assignment due and it's freaking him out. 9/30/2002 10:18:00 PM
Okay, so I have some new links to put up but it seems like too much work right now:
Truenuff
Penny Arcade (check out the comic titled "Shut Up") 9/29/2002 05:34:00 PM
Truenuff
Penny Arcade (check out the comic titled "Shut Up") 9/29/2002 05:34:00 PM
Thank you to the person featured in the 22 September post for dropping a line. You're presence is more heartfelt than ever.
9/29/2002 05:30:00 PM
The weather is dry and hot. It's summer. Well not technically, but it is. Fires have been constant the past few days. The past few twighlights have been beautiful with the smoke in the air. The mountains have been various faded shades of pinks, purples and blue. The grass is dry and sharp under my feet, and the air is a sickly sweet combination of wattle flowers and smoke. As the sun sets over the mountains, the sky has been a combination of bright pink, and orange light. Today, was like the past two days with the smoke making the air thick. The sky seemed to be too tired to put on a show tonight, with the sun setting without me evening noticing it.
So, I polished my car today and discovered they replaced my rear bumper. They took my bumper sticker with them. My door is still not fixed properly. It seems to be buckling on the outside where the window comes out (I can't be bothered trying to term to make it sound nicer). You can see the rollers that winde the window up and down. I'm ready to sell my car and walk to work every day. 9/28/2002 09:46:00 PM
So, I polished my car today and discovered they replaced my rear bumper. They took my bumper sticker with them. My door is still not fixed properly. It seems to be buckling on the outside where the window comes out (I can't be bothered trying to term to make it sound nicer). You can see the rollers that winde the window up and down. I'm ready to sell my car and walk to work every day. 9/28/2002 09:46:00 PM
I got my car back today, after being without it and catching buses with the craziest bus drivers. The seal's broken and my door leaks noise and water.
I received the results of my watercolour painting and found out I received a grade of B. It was the crappiest painting you've ever seen.
I woke up at 3:40 am this morning. One of those startling, sit-up, I'm definitely awake wake-ups. Why? I didn't know until I logged on this evening. That's the time you visited my home. I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something. I went back to sleep.
I desperately need some de niro. Any suggestions?
Liam is that PA position still available? 9/24/2002 06:56:00 PM
I received the results of my watercolour painting and found out I received a grade of B. It was the crappiest painting you've ever seen.
I woke up at 3:40 am this morning. One of those startling, sit-up, I'm definitely awake wake-ups. Why? I didn't know until I logged on this evening. That's the time you visited my home. I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something. I went back to sleep.
I desperately need some de niro. Any suggestions?
Liam is that PA position still available? 9/24/2002 06:56:00 PM
Let's take a minute out here. Let's sit down and just talk. Let's play a little game I stole from Fight Club.
If you were to be anyone else in the world, who would you be? I would probably want to be Julia Stiles. I think. I don't know really. Well she got to kiss Freddie Prinze Jr, and Heath Ledger. She's cute enough, and seems pretty smart. Or maybe Jennifer Love Hewitt. She can sing, and act, and she's stunning gorgeous. Or maybe Kate Beckingsdale. She's got that whole "I'm-a-cute-little-English-girl-giggle-giggle" thing going on. She's beautiful, even though she's got big teeth.
Celebrity death match?I would love to see Sean Connery and Michael Douglas in the ring together. Somehow that appeals to my sense of humour.
If you were anywhere else in the world, doing anything you wanted, where would you be? I would probably be in my [dream] loft apartment in NYC overlooking the city, working on a screenplay or maybe a comic book idea, or maybe a children's book idea, or maybe dancing naked in the moonlight, or curled up next to the person I adore, listening to them breathing.
That's all I can really think of right now. Got anymore? 9/22/2002 09:49:00 PM
If you were to be anyone else in the world, who would you be? I would probably want to be Julia Stiles. I think. I don't know really. Well she got to kiss Freddie Prinze Jr, and Heath Ledger. She's cute enough, and seems pretty smart. Or maybe Jennifer Love Hewitt. She can sing, and act, and she's stunning gorgeous. Or maybe Kate Beckingsdale. She's got that whole "I'm-a-cute-little-English-girl-giggle-giggle" thing going on. She's beautiful, even though she's got big teeth.
Celebrity death match?I would love to see Sean Connery and Michael Douglas in the ring together. Somehow that appeals to my sense of humour.
If you were anywhere else in the world, doing anything you wanted, where would you be? I would probably be in my [dream] loft apartment in NYC overlooking the city, working on a screenplay or maybe a comic book idea, or maybe a children's book idea, or maybe dancing naked in the moonlight, or curled up next to the person I adore, listening to them breathing.
That's all I can really think of right now. Got anymore? 9/22/2002 09:49:00 PM
enters a chatroom and does what everyone else seems to do these days - whinge.....
9/22/2002 12:32:00 AM
I miss the person I used to be. Sparky, spunky, fiesty, vibrant even. I used to spark up conversations with random people. I used to make friends quite easily. What's brought on this reminiscing? I occassionally like to rummage through my inboxes and dig out the old e-mails that used to make me smile or cry, to delete those that hurt beyond belief, and sort ouf the junk mail I have somehow forgotten or missed deleting in the past.
I'm almost tempted to post a paragraph of one of the first mentioned. I'm sure I'd receive hate mail from this person, or an abusive e-mail at the least. Okay, maybe I'm overexaggerating. I used to be reasonably close with this person. We'd talk about things that were important, as well as goof around.
The e-mail started with a pretty luke-warm paragraph about how good my site was, and how he was proud of what I had accomplished with the site, and the site design. It then detoured onto what a beautiful person I was. How I would be a great catch for any man. A month later he stopped talking to me.
I'm just a little bit paranoid about how much of this was actually true. About the few people I actually care about these days, the ones I hold close. How much do I believe of what they say? How much do I share in order to keep myself safe?
I don't know. Maybe I'm a bit emotional tonight. The fact that I'm not getting to talk to a couple of people I was hoping (well fantasing about is more correct) to catch up with tonight. Maybe it's the fact I watched "Save the Last Dance" and I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't turn out that way, that I didn't keep dancing, that I didn't become that movie star I always wanted to become.
I suppose at the end of the day I'm me. If I was the same way I was I wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't feel the way I do, I wouldn't have the plans I have, and I wouldn't have what I have.
Updating the commitment section soon-ish. 9/21/2002 11:02:00 PM
I'm almost tempted to post a paragraph of one of the first mentioned. I'm sure I'd receive hate mail from this person, or an abusive e-mail at the least. Okay, maybe I'm overexaggerating. I used to be reasonably close with this person. We'd talk about things that were important, as well as goof around.
The e-mail started with a pretty luke-warm paragraph about how good my site was, and how he was proud of what I had accomplished with the site, and the site design. It then detoured onto what a beautiful person I was. How I would be a great catch for any man. A month later he stopped talking to me.
I'm just a little bit paranoid about how much of this was actually true. About the few people I actually care about these days, the ones I hold close. How much do I believe of what they say? How much do I share in order to keep myself safe?
I don't know. Maybe I'm a bit emotional tonight. The fact that I'm not getting to talk to a couple of people I was hoping (well fantasing about is more correct) to catch up with tonight. Maybe it's the fact I watched "Save the Last Dance" and I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't turn out that way, that I didn't keep dancing, that I didn't become that movie star I always wanted to become.
I suppose at the end of the day I'm me. If I was the same way I was I wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't feel the way I do, I wouldn't have the plans I have, and I wouldn't have what I have.
Updating the commitment section soon-ish. 9/21/2002 11:02:00 PM
I have soft spot for online personality tests. I like to know what my IQ apparently is. I like to know what my "ideal" careers are (mainly because I'm too afraid of change to actually get out there myself). So, I received this e-mail from Emode asking me if I knew what my fears really were. What did I do? I clicked on the link. I suffer from the rare bout of paranoia. I fear change. I fear myself mostly. So my biggest fear? I'm afraid of what other people think apparently. Yes I know Jack, you're nodding your head in agreement. Here's the results, in case you're interested:
"Have you ever noticed that you're more concerned about how others perceive you than many people around you? Or do you sometimes worry more than you should about doing things perfectly or feel afraid that others will mock you in some way? If so, you're not alone. There are many people who share your fear of not being good enough.
It can be a real strength to recognize your fears. By being aware of the things that frighten you, you can assess whether fear is helping you or negatively impacting your life. For instance, a fear of not being good enough may sometimes motivate you to take action in a positive way, like by being more diligent in pursuing your goals than others.
However, fear's negative aspects can sometimes be more damaging than you realize. Living with fear not only prevents you from living life to the fullest; it can also have a significant negative impact on your energy, health, and your close relationships if not kept in check.
The good news is that you can face your fears. There are simple things you can do right now to see that recurring fearful thoughts don't keep you from living the life you want to live." 9/21/2002 09:37:00 PM
"Have you ever noticed that you're more concerned about how others perceive you than many people around you? Or do you sometimes worry more than you should about doing things perfectly or feel afraid that others will mock you in some way? If so, you're not alone. There are many people who share your fear of not being good enough.
It can be a real strength to recognize your fears. By being aware of the things that frighten you, you can assess whether fear is helping you or negatively impacting your life. For instance, a fear of not being good enough may sometimes motivate you to take action in a positive way, like by being more diligent in pursuing your goals than others.
However, fear's negative aspects can sometimes be more damaging than you realize. Living with fear not only prevents you from living life to the fullest; it can also have a significant negative impact on your energy, health, and your close relationships if not kept in check.
The good news is that you can face your fears. There are simple things you can do right now to see that recurring fearful thoughts don't keep you from living the life you want to live." 9/21/2002 09:37:00 PM
I've cleaned my room from end to end today. I've thrown out a lot of junk that I can remember the reason for keeping, but the reasoning of throwing it out far exceeded those. There's less clutter. Which is great. I let sunlight into my room today. I feel fantastic, ready to tackle things head on from here on in and singing along with "Cheap Wine" at the top of my lungs.. Oh, yes, I did have a day off today. Hope you all have a fantastic weekend. There's a bed to make, my "too-big-to-even-think-about" pile of clothes to sort, and dinner to cook.
9/20/2002 06:47:00 PM
So, I forgot to link the pics in the commitment section. How hard is it to right-click, and open in a new window? Bleh.
Oh, for your viewing pleasure. 9/20/2002 04:22:00 PM
Oh, for your viewing pleasure. 9/20/2002 04:22:00 PM
Things are starting to fall into place around here. I'm liking the feel of the site, although it's feeling a bit 'amateur-ish'. I won't complain any longer. I'm satisfied with what I've got. I'm sitting here listening to, yes it's cringe time, pop music. Nothing like singing along with bad music to get creative. I'm getting kicked off the computer by my bully brother. I might go finish the painting I finished. Night all :)
9/19/2002 09:03:00 PM
Because I'm too lazy to look it up in my creative stupor:
How do I get the links to open in a new window? Basic HTML evades me tonight. 9/18/2002 09:59:00 PM
How do I get the links to open in a new window? Basic HTML evades me tonight. 9/18/2002 09:59:00 PM
Okay, I think I've got just about everything under control. New bio coming soon.
9/16/2002 09:31:00 PM
I would like for just once, people to act like they're happy to see me.
9/15/2002 11:02:00 PM
Ten things that men know about women
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. They have tits.
9/14/2002 02:00:00 PM
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. They have tits.
9/14/2002 02:00:00 PM
For the ladies:
85 Rules and instructions on being a MAN
1. Don't call. EVER.
2. If you don't like a girl, don't tell her. It's more fun to let her
figure it out by herself.
3. Lie.
4. Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and
unoriginal, such as "spike"
5. If you lose something that belongs to someone else, tell them you
mailed it to them/already gave it to them.
6. Play with yourself as often as possible. Tell everyone about it.
7. Be as ambiguous as possible. If you don't want to answer, a
grunt will do.
8. Always remember: You are a man. Therefore, no matter what, it
isn't your fault.
9. Lie.
10. Girls find it attractive if a man has had more women than baths.
11. Never ask for help. Even if you really, really need help ---
don't ask. People will think you have no penis.
12. Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.
13. If, GOD FORBID, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use only
monosyllabic words and noises. Bodily noises are permissible.
14. TWO WORDS: Hack and spit. (Big loogies means a big penis)
15. Everyone finds a man more attractive if he can write his name in
urine.
16. One sure way to make a girl like you is to go after her best
friend. She will then see what she's missing and love you for not
giving up on her.
17. Tell her you will call. Then, refer back to rule #1.
18. Don't wear matching clothes. People will think your girlfriend
picked it out, and it will cramp your style on picking up chicks.
19. Lie.
20. Deny everything. Everything.
21. If you like a girl, tell all your female friends about her.
Especially female friends you suspect may have a crush on you.
(Probably all of them --- you're a man remember?) They really
want to know.
22. Don't have a clue.
23. If you get a clue, pretend you didn't and disregard it.
24. No means yes.
25. Yes means no.
26. If you don't get sex whenever you want, your balls will shrivel.
You may get sick or even die. This is one of the most important
rules.
27. If anyone asks, you have had sex in all possible positions
and locations.
28. Much like an orgasm signifies the end of a sexual peak, sex often
signifies the end of a relationship.
29. Feelings? What feelings?
30. Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at
something, either pretend it's not true or kick their ass.
31. Lie I tell you!!
32. DO NOT make decisions about relationships. If you are backed
into a corner and must make a decision, stall. If you still
must come up with an answer, leave yourself a loophole for
escape. Example:
Question: "Honey, will you take me out for a romantic
dinner?"
Answer: "Yes, if you can guess how many sperm I produce
each day."
33. Every sentence that anyone says can be twisted to have sexual
meaning. Twist.
34. At any given opportunity, point out how things look like various
genitalia. (If, by chance, you have Play-Doh, make sure you make
a replica of your penis. Exagerate the dimensions by 25%).
35. Lie.
36. "Love" is not in your vocabulary. don't even think about saying
it.
37. A general rule: If whatever you're doing does not satisfy you
completely in 5 minutes, it's really not worth it.
38. Diss your girlfirend. Beg and plead until you get her back. Diss
her again. Repeat cycle.
39. Lie.
40. Apologize whenever it's expected. NEVER mean it.
41. If you hurt someone, pretend you care. Don't.
42. Try to have a good memory, but it's OK if you forget trivial
things. You know, like your girlfriend's b-day and eye color.
43. Ignorance solves problems. If you can't see them, they can't see
you.
44. It is never your duty to take responsibility for your actions.
45. Create new words and phrases to describe genetalia, sex, semen,
etc.
46. Lie.
47. Play with your food only if you are in a public place with
people you don't know.
48. Play with your penis only if you are in a public place with
people you don't know.
49. If people express extreme disgust at whatever you are doing,
DON'T STOP! This is the desired reaction.
50. You are NOT a virgin. Ever. Males are born without virginity.
51. You are male, therefore you are superior.
52. Agenda for a typical evening: Get beer. Drink beer. Play with
yourself. Have sex. Drink more beer. Pass out.
53. Females do not care what you do to them as long as they get to
please you.
54. Don't ever notice anything.
55. If you're going out with someone but you love someone else, don't
say anything. Wait until the girl you are going out with falls in
love with YOU, and then tell her.
56. Basic fundamental rule of dating: Quantity, not quality.
57. Basic fundamental rule of sex: Quantity IS quality.
58. Lie.
59. If you cheat on a girl, but no one finds out, then technically
you've done nothing wrong.
60. Crying is not manly. Then again, if you are a man, what do you
have to cry about, anyway?
61. If the question begins with "why," the answer is "I don't know."
62. Women are your napkins. Use them, and throw them away.
63. Remember, Every virgin girl is saving herself for YOU.
64. Don't ever let anyone say "I told you so." If you hear this
phrase and it didn't come out of your mouth, go ballistic.
65. If your woman makes you go shopping with her, drive around until
a parking spot right near the door opens up. If this takes
hours, so be it. You will have the coveted "door spot" and
others will worship your skills.
66. Other peoples' pain is strictly for your amusement. Laugh long,
laugh loud, laugh heartily.
67. Lie.
68. If anyone asks you for a favor-
a) make a big deal about how hard it is for you to do it,
b) remind them of this huge favor you've done for them at least
every 5 minutes for the rest of their life.
69. 69
70. If you do something really mean to a girl, and she doesn't want
to talk to you, pretend nothing happened. If she still doesn't
talk to you, casually ask, "is something wrong?"
71. Three words: Let's be friends. Translation: I never want to
speak to you again, but it's bad for my nice-guy image if you
are mad at me, so I'll pretend I want to be your friend.
72. Lie.
73. If you're on a date, and there is a lull in the conversation, tell
the girl how many different dorms you've been laid in.
74. Here's a good trick. Tell a girl that you're going to leave
for a few minutes and when you come back, you want her naked,
sprawled on the bed. Leave,and go into her dad's room and
tell him he should go check on his daughter. Then drive like
hell. (true story.)
75. If a girl breaks up with you because you're in love with someone
else, she has no right to be upset. Because, you know, SHE's the
one who wanted to end the relationship.
76. The best sex position is you, lying face up... and twenty girls
on top.
77. Default facial expression: blank stare.
78. Spend your spare time thinking of excuses and shove them up
your butt. Then, whenever you need a good excuse, you can pull
it out of your ass.
79. If you are asked to do something you REALLY DON'T want to do,
first try your manly best to get out of it. If that doesn't work,
go ahead and do what you were asked to do, but complain that you
don't know how to do it and continuously ask questions on how to
do each little part. If no one rushes in to do it for you YET,
finish the job in the most half-assed way you possibly can and
then say, "SEE?? I TOLD you I couldn't do it." Eventually,
people will stop asking you to do things.
80. Do not listen to "pussy music" such as Erasure, Color Me Badd, or
Oldies.
81. Beer. Then more beer.
82. One word: FOOTBALL!
83. Real men beat up others who are inferior. I mean, we don't want
the inferior of the species to get to reproduce ever, do we???
84. Discuss your pecs at every opportunity.
85. LIE.
For the men:
The rules and instructions on being a WOMAN
1. The Female always makes the Rules.
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior
notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all the Rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows the Rules, she must
immediately change some of the Rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant
misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the
Male said or did.
7. If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for
causing the misunderstanding.
8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without express written
consent from the Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times unless the Female
wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know
whether she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily
harm.
9/14/2002 01:16:00 PM
85 Rules and instructions on being a MAN
1. Don't call. EVER.
2. If you don't like a girl, don't tell her. It's more fun to let her
figure it out by herself.
3. Lie.
4. Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and
unoriginal, such as "spike"
5. If you lose something that belongs to someone else, tell them you
mailed it to them/already gave it to them.
6. Play with yourself as often as possible. Tell everyone about it.
7. Be as ambiguous as possible. If you don't want to answer, a
grunt will do.
8. Always remember: You are a man. Therefore, no matter what, it
isn't your fault.
9. Lie.
10. Girls find it attractive if a man has had more women than baths.
11. Never ask for help. Even if you really, really need help ---
don't ask. People will think you have no penis.
12. Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.
13. If, GOD FORBID, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use only
monosyllabic words and noises. Bodily noises are permissible.
14. TWO WORDS: Hack and spit. (Big loogies means a big penis)
15. Everyone finds a man more attractive if he can write his name in
urine.
16. One sure way to make a girl like you is to go after her best
friend. She will then see what she's missing and love you for not
giving up on her.
17. Tell her you will call. Then, refer back to rule #1.
18. Don't wear matching clothes. People will think your girlfriend
picked it out, and it will cramp your style on picking up chicks.
19. Lie.
20. Deny everything. Everything.
21. If you like a girl, tell all your female friends about her.
Especially female friends you suspect may have a crush on you.
(Probably all of them --- you're a man remember?) They really
want to know.
22. Don't have a clue.
23. If you get a clue, pretend you didn't and disregard it.
24. No means yes.
25. Yes means no.
26. If you don't get sex whenever you want, your balls will shrivel.
You may get sick or even die. This is one of the most important
rules.
27. If anyone asks, you have had sex in all possible positions
and locations.
28. Much like an orgasm signifies the end of a sexual peak, sex often
signifies the end of a relationship.
29. Feelings? What feelings?
30. Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at
something, either pretend it's not true or kick their ass.
31. Lie I tell you!!
32. DO NOT make decisions about relationships. If you are backed
into a corner and must make a decision, stall. If you still
must come up with an answer, leave yourself a loophole for
escape. Example:
Question: "Honey, will you take me out for a romantic
dinner?"
Answer: "Yes, if you can guess how many sperm I produce
each day."
33. Every sentence that anyone says can be twisted to have sexual
meaning. Twist.
34. At any given opportunity, point out how things look like various
genitalia. (If, by chance, you have Play-Doh, make sure you make
a replica of your penis. Exagerate the dimensions by 25%).
35. Lie.
36. "Love" is not in your vocabulary. don't even think about saying
it.
37. A general rule: If whatever you're doing does not satisfy you
completely in 5 minutes, it's really not worth it.
38. Diss your girlfirend. Beg and plead until you get her back. Diss
her again. Repeat cycle.
39. Lie.
40. Apologize whenever it's expected. NEVER mean it.
41. If you hurt someone, pretend you care. Don't.
42. Try to have a good memory, but it's OK if you forget trivial
things. You know, like your girlfriend's b-day and eye color.
43. Ignorance solves problems. If you can't see them, they can't see
you.
44. It is never your duty to take responsibility for your actions.
45. Create new words and phrases to describe genetalia, sex, semen,
etc.
46. Lie.
47. Play with your food only if you are in a public place with
people you don't know.
48. Play with your penis only if you are in a public place with
people you don't know.
49. If people express extreme disgust at whatever you are doing,
DON'T STOP! This is the desired reaction.
50. You are NOT a virgin. Ever. Males are born without virginity.
51. You are male, therefore you are superior.
52. Agenda for a typical evening: Get beer. Drink beer. Play with
yourself. Have sex. Drink more beer. Pass out.
53. Females do not care what you do to them as long as they get to
please you.
54. Don't ever notice anything.
55. If you're going out with someone but you love someone else, don't
say anything. Wait until the girl you are going out with falls in
love with YOU, and then tell her.
56. Basic fundamental rule of dating: Quantity, not quality.
57. Basic fundamental rule of sex: Quantity IS quality.
58. Lie.
59. If you cheat on a girl, but no one finds out, then technically
you've done nothing wrong.
60. Crying is not manly. Then again, if you are a man, what do you
have to cry about, anyway?
61. If the question begins with "why," the answer is "I don't know."
62. Women are your napkins. Use them, and throw them away.
63. Remember, Every virgin girl is saving herself for YOU.
64. Don't ever let anyone say "I told you so." If you hear this
phrase and it didn't come out of your mouth, go ballistic.
65. If your woman makes you go shopping with her, drive around until
a parking spot right near the door opens up. If this takes
hours, so be it. You will have the coveted "door spot" and
others will worship your skills.
66. Other peoples' pain is strictly for your amusement. Laugh long,
laugh loud, laugh heartily.
67. Lie.
68. If anyone asks you for a favor-
a) make a big deal about how hard it is for you to do it,
b) remind them of this huge favor you've done for them at least
every 5 minutes for the rest of their life.
69. 69
70. If you do something really mean to a girl, and she doesn't want
to talk to you, pretend nothing happened. If she still doesn't
talk to you, casually ask, "is something wrong?"
71. Three words: Let's be friends. Translation: I never want to
speak to you again, but it's bad for my nice-guy image if you
are mad at me, so I'll pretend I want to be your friend.
72. Lie.
73. If you're on a date, and there is a lull in the conversation, tell
the girl how many different dorms you've been laid in.
74. Here's a good trick. Tell a girl that you're going to leave
for a few minutes and when you come back, you want her naked,
sprawled on the bed. Leave,and go into her dad's room and
tell him he should go check on his daughter. Then drive like
hell. (true story.)
75. If a girl breaks up with you because you're in love with someone
else, she has no right to be upset. Because, you know, SHE's the
one who wanted to end the relationship.
76. The best sex position is you, lying face up... and twenty girls
on top.
77. Default facial expression: blank stare.
78. Spend your spare time thinking of excuses and shove them up
your butt. Then, whenever you need a good excuse, you can pull
it out of your ass.
79. If you are asked to do something you REALLY DON'T want to do,
first try your manly best to get out of it. If that doesn't work,
go ahead and do what you were asked to do, but complain that you
don't know how to do it and continuously ask questions on how to
do each little part. If no one rushes in to do it for you YET,
finish the job in the most half-assed way you possibly can and
then say, "SEE?? I TOLD you I couldn't do it." Eventually,
people will stop asking you to do things.
80. Do not listen to "pussy music" such as Erasure, Color Me Badd, or
Oldies.
81. Beer. Then more beer.
82. One word: FOOTBALL!
83. Real men beat up others who are inferior. I mean, we don't want
the inferior of the species to get to reproduce ever, do we???
84. Discuss your pecs at every opportunity.
85. LIE.
For the men:
The rules and instructions on being a WOMAN
1. The Female always makes the Rules.
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior
notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all the Rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows the Rules, she must
immediately change some of the Rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant
misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the
Male said or did.
7. If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for
causing the misunderstanding.
8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without express written
consent from the Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times unless the Female
wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know
whether she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily
harm.
9/14/2002 01:16:00 PM
I'm really snitchy lately. I'm on the verge of packing it all in and giving up on human existence. I'm extremely lonely, and feeling especially unloved (through no-one's fault but my own inadequance). I miss feeling a spark. I don't have many friends around anymore, and I can deal with that. I see other people my own age enjoying life, and having people around them they click with and I just don't feel that happening with me. /endrant
9/13/2002 10:13:00 PM
Has anything changed, D?
9/11/2002 08:35:00 PM
Perhaps we should just put it down to naivety or selfishness.
I'm sick of hearing about what day it is. I'm sick of hearing about the loss. I'm sick of feeling bad for not grieving. I haven't cried about it. Not once. I feel guilty about it. Especially when the media (and the people) of the world are shoving pictures of the devasation in our faces. We're told to not dwell on it, to get on with our lives, to grieve and to keep going. How can we possibly manage to do that? I hurt every day from minor occurences. The pain of this event is perhaps too overwhelming for me to embrace. So I don't. I go on living day to day. Perhaps there is such a thing as grieving too much? We remembered the next day, then a week later, two weeks later, a month later, two months later, then three, six months later, and now a year on. How many times can we put ourselves through the pain of remembering? 9/11/2002 08:33:00 PM
I'm sick of hearing about what day it is. I'm sick of hearing about the loss. I'm sick of feeling bad for not grieving. I haven't cried about it. Not once. I feel guilty about it. Especially when the media (and the people) of the world are shoving pictures of the devasation in our faces. We're told to not dwell on it, to get on with our lives, to grieve and to keep going. How can we possibly manage to do that? I hurt every day from minor occurences. The pain of this event is perhaps too overwhelming for me to embrace. So I don't. I go on living day to day. Perhaps there is such a thing as grieving too much? We remembered the next day, then a week later, two weeks later, a month later, two months later, then three, six months later, and now a year on. How many times can we put ourselves through the pain of remembering? 9/11/2002 08:33:00 PM
So, I got hit by a car today. My whole driver's side door needs replacing and my lower back is killing me. You jinxed me you dirty rat ;)
9/10/2002 06:24:00 PM
I'm a little confused at who all your anonymous people are. I would really like for you to e-mail me and introduce yourselves. Really I would.
9/08/2002 10:27:00 PM
Okay, so my brother formatted the hard drive and he's completely fucked the whole god-damned computer up. I am fuming. The cost of getting it repaired is about equivilanent to getting a new computer (hey, I don't care how my spelling is tonight). So I didn't get to talk to you tonight, and I'm pissed off about it all. *sighs* I'll survive, I s'pose. I won't be around much anymore (duh!).
9/08/2002 09:58:00 PM
My hard drive's getting formatted. I may not be around for a couple of days. You're all missed muchly.
9/07/2002 08:34:00 AM
An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.
A crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out"
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him would hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, “F*** you!"
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."
9/07/2002 05:40:00 AM
A crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out"
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him would hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, “F*** you!"
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."
9/07/2002 05:40:00 AM
Tuesday
Overdue
I have that recording still. The one of you talking. You know the one. My heart melted again. 9/06/2002 09:34:00 PM
Overdue
I have that recording still. The one of you talking. You know the one. My heart melted again. 9/06/2002 09:34:00 PM
Okay, so what's happening? I'm bored crazy, and I'm starting to wonder what the hell I'm even doing on here. I'm working a redesign, but I'm not really happy with it (and that's nothing new). I suppose I'll post more later.
9/04/2002 09:27:00 PM
I feel the need to smille. I feel content. I feel resourceful. I feel wonderful.
9/04/2002 08:41:00 AM